After Action Report: revelation

[Hank McCoy]

Well, the monster story (r)evolution:revelation is over and the damage is done.

Whether you read it or didn't....liked it or hated it....we'd really like to hear what you thought. Without feedback there's no reason at all to go to the effort of putting together a really big story.

If you didn't read it, we'd appreciate knowing what turned you off about it.

If you did read it...
What went right?
What went wrong?
What did you like about it?
Was there something you didn't like?
What about the way the story kept referring back to all the clues?

Was there a favorite moment?
Was there something that just didn't seem to work?

Like Colonel Fury said before: "List 'em all here, good and bad. Don't worry, you won't hurt my feelings."

Oh....one more thing....

If you think that it's all over, you weren't paying attention....

[Christine MacTaggart]

Was there something you didn't like?

you killed off Kevin before you let him see his family?

[Gambit]

Did I read it? Why yes, yes I did. And enjoyed it thoroughly! I loved how the pieces of the puzzle all slowly fell into place, and the foreshadowing was revealed as it went on.

Proteus was wonderfully evil. Any sympathy I may have felt at first was quickly quashed by the sheer evil he seemed to exude upon his resurrection. I felt bad for the hell that Beast went through, one of his own making.

The scene with Storm was very powerful, and I thought she was believably frightened and reacted accordingly, and that Proteus was just plain creepy. He really seemed to know exactly what to do to get to her, and wasn’t fazed by her normally powerful attacks.

The following scene with Wolverine and Bamf was equally riveting. Had to cringe when Logan had to actually hold his guts in. blah. Loved how it was discovered to thwart Proteus, and how he began to act desperate as his options began to decrease. And Bamf was such a brave little hero, and smart too. RIP, Bamf.

And last, but certainly not least, the return of Nightcrawler. I felt this was the perfect way to bring him back into the story, and I think he’s doin’ a wonderful job so far in conveying the emotions for one who has just been thrust into a new world, with no recollection of how he got there, and very little knowledge of any time before.

So in short, Bravo! I have nothing bad to say.

you killed off Kevin before you let him see his family?

Now there's some helpful constructive critisism. ;D

[Christine MacTaggart]

well, I've been PMing Hank back and forth so he understands my comment

[Guido Carosella]

Abso-fraggin'-lutely gorgeous. Bar none the best writing I've seen on the site.

The links to the clues that were posted before were fantastic. A lot of those were probably written in all innocence, but still found a way to be used in the story.

Brilliant.

[multiple]

Good stuff, and I agree that the links to the clues were very useful, especially when reading things over a long amount of time. The battle at the end was very exciting. Looking forward to what happens next.

One problem, Multiple Man DIED! Ok, so it was a dupe. But still, shouldn't we have a funeral and buy the real Jamie lots and lots of presents? Just a thought.

[Logan]

This story was great! It was well thought out, tied in many different characters, and was well thought out.

...

Unlike this post.

I am a HUGE fan of stories like that-a sense of something far greater than going to the mall and little mini-dramas. Without the big stories, the mini-dramas lose flavor and substance.

Proteus was written very well. I like how he was portrayed. I got a sense of why he was the way he was, but I never felt sorry for him...on the contrary, he was the most frightening character that has ever been on this board.

Even worse than Creed tryin' to 'busta move' for tha ladies.

And congratulations to everyone who helped write those scenes, Bamf, Storm, Beast, and of course Logan. What a handsome devil!

[taeladragonfox]

I agree. I think all of the posts were great. Fun to read, and definitely nailbiters.

Perfectly honest, I was afraid of the thought of Taela meeting Kevin. He seemed both good and evil at the same time... a very deep character.

I'm shutting up now before I start to overanalyzing his character.

That's what I get for having come here after poking around and actually doing schoolwork. Meh.

[Jubilee]

Well, *I* read it. Whenever a new part was posted it was a reason for happiness, but at the same time foreboding...along the lines of 'who are they gonna hurt this time?'.

Proteus was evil. But at the same time, there was a sense that maybe he could have been redeemed but he just didn't want to be. Except possibly for Christine's sake, and he did manage to do something for her right before he died. Which was nice of him. But he killed Bamf. Which is something that's going to make me a little bit weepy for ages to come, because I really did like the little guy.

I think Logan and Storm reacted magnifcently and for once, Storm's claustrophobia was used. Hallelujah! I've been on a few RPGs where she just doesn't seem to have it, and since it's such an integral part of her character, it always annoys me. But here her breakdown because of it, even though Logan helps contribute to the situation to keep her safe was excellent.

And Nightcrawler looks like he's going to be cool too. Bonus!

[Magneto]

I agree, Storm did a fantastic job of character portrayal in that scene with Proteus. The way she lost control of her powers, and the way she continues to struggle with the fear of Proteus shows really good attention to the details that go into character development.

I don't know if this is the thread for this kind of comment, but I also want to point out that the thread between Beast and Fury is very well done. It's great seeing the dynamic of two characters portrayed very well together, and the fact that you can tell that though they don't really like each other, they know they need each other.

Fury has been really well done throughout this whole thing-and the controller of SHIELD should get some kind of RPG Oscar or something.

[Hank McCoy]

Well, as uncomfortable as it is for me to agree with Magneto, I would also like to voice my admiration for both Storm's portrayal and the SHIELD folks.

SHIELD is a very real presence with distinct personalities, well-thought motivations and what feels to this reader like plausible descriptions of high-tech weaponry and military practice.

It's so good sometimes that it's hard to think of it as somebody going to all that effort. I just tend to think of it as the characters of Fury and all the agents same as I would reading the comics.

Any time someone can do that....make you forget that you're reading the work of someone who made this up and isn't paid to do this as their job -- and they can make you think of the characters without ever thinking twice about the writer....

Well, odd as it sounds that's about the best praise I can think of.

[Christine MacTaggart]

I think I sobbed more this time then I did the last time I read it (while the plot was going on)

My absolute favorite part was not Kurt's return, yes, you may gasp and stare in shock at that confession, but Kev's plea to Logan to have Logan tell Christine that Kev loved her

[Hank McCoy]

Thanks for the feedback. It's great to hear that someone read it in the first place - even better that they went back and read it over again.

I still haven't reached the point where I can read any of my part in it objectively. Or much else I write I suppose. I either cringe or want to correct some tiny inconsistency or just start over and write it differently.

The fact that there was something in there that you found touching or interesting or funny or whatever .... that's really terrific to hear about.