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Post by Jubilee on Aug 23, 2004 9:05:12 GMT -4
Jubilee rested her head on the heels of her hands, feeling the deep ache of missing her Gambit just reach up and swallow her like a wave. Because this one wouldn't remember what today was. He didn't know her. Rems knew her inside out and upside down; this guy sorta had a clue but not like her Gumbo had. She was sorta surprised but not really that she was able to fool everyone with the happy go lucky peppy cheery Jubilee act she'd had going ever since she found out.
But today life wasn't letting her have a chance to even slide the mask on. Just rubbing salt in the wounds of not having someone who knew more or less everything about her and knew what her moods and her reactions to things were. And she really needed that today, more then any other day of the year.
Because it was the anniversairy of her parents death.
She wiped away tears, ignoring the ones that fell to replace them as she stared at the lone photo she had. Carefully stuck to a corner of her mirror and taken into every battle with her, riding in a pocket of her coat. Jubilee got up after a moment and went to Gambit's room. He was out. That was ok; she wasn't sure she could handle seeing him at the moment. She went to the place she knew he kept a bottle of bourbon and carefully detached it from under his bed.
Then put a note where it had been and money to pay for it. Took the bottle. Here's money to pay for a new one. Jubes.
Then went back to her room and proceeded to get drunk to try and numb the pain she felt inside. It seemed to work for Gambit, most of the time, and nothing she was doing was working. She coughed slightly at the taste of the alcohol, almost gagging as it went down her throat for the first time. It went down a lot smoother after the first five or so shots. When she was down the first quarter, Jubilee rested her head on her arms and giggled quietly.
Gambit had a good idea after all. Why, she barely cared at all anymore. Then the hiccuping giggles turned to sobs and Jubilee bawled her eyes out onto her hands.
((TAGS: Gambit))
((Oh good god, the ANGST! ;D))
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Post by Gambit on Aug 23, 2004 10:54:55 GMT -4
Gambit walked down the hallway, his mouth set in a thoughtful frown. Something was off about Jubilee today. She wasn’t her normal, happy self. No, that wasn’t quite it. She seemed to be too happy, like she was trying to overcompensate, to fool them all. And it had set off warning bells in the Cajun’s head. In the brief moment he had seen her earlier, he had reached out with his empathy and had been surprised to feel the raw pain, depression and loss that she was trying so hard to hide. So he had let her go, thinking that maybe she just needed some time alone. That’s what he usually wanted when he felt that way. But by now, he was getting worried.
There was something behind her eyes when she had looked at him. It reminded him of the look Bella used to give him when he had forgotten something.
But dat could be jus’ ‘bout anyt’in’! What haven’t I fo’gotten when it comes t’ Jubes? T’ough it’s hard t’ fo’get somet’in’ y’ didn’t know in de first place...
Stopping just outside her bedroom door, Remy raised his hand to knock, but stopped short at the sounds with in. Hearing the sobbing from the other side, he didn’t think twice before opening the door and letting himself in. Closing the door behind him, he quickly crossed the room and took a seat beside the crying girl, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. It was at that moment that he noticed a very distinctive smell in the room. As his eyes quickly located the partial bottle of bourbon, his frown deepened.
“What’s de matter, p’tite? If somebody hurt y’, jus’ tell me who it is, an’ I make sure dat dey’ll never be able t’ do it again,” he said, his voice comforting, although the hidden threat was unmistakable.
But little did he know that the person that hurt her... was him.
((*sighs* Y' hate me, don' y?))
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Post by Jubilee on Aug 23, 2004 11:17:24 GMT -4
((Pssh, where'd you get that idea? I love you! ;D And my love is very painful.))
Jubilee just cried for a few more moments, barely registering his arrival until he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She almost turned to clutch at him and howl out her misery on his shoulder, almost did what she'd done a few times before.
And then she remembered. It hit her with all the pain and heaviness of a sledgehammer to the guts. Knocking the breath out of her for a moment.
"You don't remember, so just forget it," Jubilee said flatly, reaching with a shaky hand for the glass which still had some alcohol in it.
Numbing alcohol, what did I ever do without you?
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Post by Gambit on Aug 23, 2004 11:28:52 GMT -4
((All love seems t’ be painful...))
Gambit had expected Jubilee to take advantage of his shoulder to cry on, so when she barely even indicated that she noticed him, he was at a loss. But when she finally spoke, her words and tone struck him like a knife to the heart. He knew, deep down, that she wasn’t over it. No matter how much they both tried to pretend it was no big deal, delude themselves into thinking that they could carry on as if he was who she thought he was. Sure, they had talked and had seemed to at least come to the conclusion that it wasn’t his fault, that he hadn’t chosen this. But that didn’t make it go away.
Removing his arm from her shoulder, Remy moved away slightly, suddenly feeling as if he didn’t belong there, and shouldn’t be that close to her. Swallowing down the hurt her statement had caused, he reached out and took the glass from her hand.
“I t’ought y’ realized dat drinkin’ wasn’t de answer when y’ saw what it did t’ me de ot’er mornin’. Believe me, y’ll regret it t’morrow,” he said, his voice emotionless to match his poker face.
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Post by Jubilee on Aug 23, 2004 11:34:45 GMT -4
"Probably. You'd know, having much more experience then me in the area of hangovers. At the moment, I don't care."
Jubilee defiantly swallowed what was in the glass, before starting to pour out more. Just wanting to hurt him for not being her Gambit. Punish him for it. Knowing it was a sick hatred, but drunk enough not to care.
"You know...I *almost* forget sometimes. It's so easy to just pretend. And god, am I ever good at pretending something doesn't hurt."
The tears started to cascade down her face again, welling from blue eyes and sliding down her cheeks.
"And I...I just can't today. Because you don't even remeber what today is."
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Post by Gambit on Aug 23, 2004 11:55:32 GMT -4
Jumping up from the bed, Remy grabbed the bottle from her hand, mid-pour, sending some of the liquid spilling to the floor.
“Y’ think I don’ understand? De only t’ing dat change fo’ you is me. But my whole world changed! None o’ my memories from de last year or more are real!” he yelled, the red glow of his eyes intensifying. Picking the bottle cap off the dresser, he corked the bottle and set it out of Jubilee’s reached. Running a hand back through his hair, he forced himself to look at her. Seeing the tears running down her face, his anger quickly diminished.
“Désolé, p’tite, but I jus’ don’ know what t’ do. I wish I r’membered. I wish dis was m’ life. But it ain’. But if y’ jus’ tell me what’s wrong... I’ll try t’ help,” he said, his voice low, a note of sadness in it.
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Post by Jubilee on Aug 23, 2004 12:03:14 GMT -4
Jubilee got up from her chair, swaying slightly. She balled her fists up as he yelled at her, glaring back.
"Today's the day my parents died. I watched them burn. I can...I can still hear my mom screaming in my head..."
She started to shake, then dropped to her knees, sobbing desperately as she wrapped her arms around herself.
"I tried to save them and I couldn't and I watched them die and you don't remember and I just, I can't do this without..."
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Post by Gambit on Aug 23, 2004 12:12:34 GMT -4
Looking down at the sobbing girl, he felt his heart break for her. He didn’t know that she had been through so much pain, that she had had to witness the death of her parents. But he should’ve known. His face hardening as he thought of all the pain this whole timeshifting event had caused, he grabbed the abandoned glass of bourbon and flung it at the closed door, taking little satisfaction in the loud shattering sound it caused.
Casting his eyes back to Jubilee, he knelt down in front of her and smoothed back her hair with one hand.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, his poker face long gone as he allowed his emotions to show clearly. “But y’ don’ have t’ be alone. I know it’ll never be de same, dat’ll I’ll never be de one y’ need... but I’m here fo’ y’ eiter’ way.”<br>
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Post by Jubilee on Aug 23, 2004 12:17:18 GMT -4
Jubilee reached out blindly and wrapped her arms around his neck, sobbing her heart out onto his shoulder. Garbled words of Chinese and English mixed with hiccuping sobs as she let go of her iron control. Let herself feel the hurt and the grief instead of locking it away in a box labelled 'Do not open, touch or even think about for too long'.
After a bit, she started to calm down. Hiccuping slightly as she caught her breath and still clinging to him like a limpet.
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Post by Gambit on Aug 23, 2004 12:33:47 GMT -4
When Jubilee finally gave in and let him comfort her, Remy wrapped his arms tightly around her and just let her cry. Rubbing one hand up and down her back in a comforting gesture, he stayed silent. What was there to say? He could have gone for the cliché ‘Shh, it’ll be okay’, but he knew that was a lie. It would never be okay. You don’t just get over something like what she had to go through. And then to lose the one person that was supposed to understand, the one person that was supposed to know her? It just wasn’t fair.
So he said nothing, just letting her cry out all her pain, just hoping that she knows that he’s there for her. He could feel unshed tears burning behind his own eyes for so many reasons, but he had to be the strong one.
Finally, her sobs began to diminish, but she didn’t loosen her hold on him. And he didn’t push her away.
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Post by Jubilee on Aug 23, 2004 12:41:09 GMT -4
((Aww, you're such a nice guy, Remy. ;D))
"I just...it always hurts. But today's just one of those days when it hurts so much worse," Jubilee said into his neck, still holding onto him.
"Thank you. For letting me cry all over you. And um...steal your bourbon. But I left money."
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Post by Gambit on Aug 23, 2004 12:52:09 GMT -4
((I try. ;D ))
Remy nodded at her words, knowing she could feel the gesture. He didn’t want to mock her pain by saying he understood, as their situations were totally different. This wasn’t about him. She needed to get this all off her chest, and she didn’t need someone making her feel as if her pain wasn’t legitimate or that she was feeling too much. But as she mentioned leaving money for his bourbon, though, he couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Y’ take back y’r money, p’tite. I don’ need it. Stealin’ from a master t’ief? T’ink y’ deserve it,” he said, finally pulling back slightly. Looking down at her, he wiped away the tear trail beneath one eye with his thumb. “An’ dere ain’ no reason t’ t’ank me. Y’ need me, I’m here.”<br>
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Post by Jubilee on Aug 23, 2004 12:58:21 GMT -4
"You hide things in the same places," Jubilee pointed out, a small smile starting to appear from behind the tears.
"You know that bourbon tastes foul, don't you? Because it really really does. Like cough syrup or something."
She hugged him again after he wiped away the tear trail with his thumb and promised her that he'd be there for her.
"See, and that's another thing that just doesn't change...you're a real nice guy, Remy LeBeau. I just wish you'd believe it more often."
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Post by Gambit on Aug 23, 2004 13:05:56 GMT -4
“Guess I gotta find a better place t’ hide m’ stash, non?” he replied, returning the smile. “An’ liquor ain’ spose t’ taste good, but it does its job. But y’ grow up in N’awlins, an’ y’ learn t’ love de bourbon. Runs like water down dere.”<br>
When she buried her face back in his neck, Remy returned his arm to around her waist, willing to hold her as long as she wanted. He couldn’t help but feel guilty, although it was starting to sink in that there was nothing he could have done. But at her last comment, he couldn’t help but scoff.
“A t’ief dat drinks too much, smokes too much, sleeps aroun’ and blows stuff up. Oui, I be a real prince,” he replied sarcastically.
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Post by Jubilee on Aug 23, 2004 13:13:30 GMT -4
"A guy that'll comfort a girl he barely knows, without expecting anything in return. Which is a very rare thing," Jubilee pointed out in a slightly muffled voice, still clinging to him and hiding her face in his neck.
"Prince of Thieves. Besides, real good guys are boring. You're just bad enough to be interesting, and you have this noble thing going that you try to hide. Because heaven forbid anyone should think highly of you."
She poked him in the chest.
"You're a good person. Shut up and deal with it."
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