Some People Change

[Panthera]

(....taking place shortly after the Rose Garden thread)

Samantha had already made her way to the pool area. She really didn't even know why she headed that way, but the look on Jacob's face told her to just leave him alone. He obviously was as ticked off at her as she was at him. They needed their space and she wasn't about to have another confrontation today. One was enough.

Honestly, she felt saddened about Jacob's recent absence around the mansion. She knew in her heart he was doing something for his future, their future. But why did it have to happen when she needed him the most? Why now? Why was she forced to go through another traumatic experience alone?

As she passed the lightly illuminated poolside, she looked down at her stomach placing her hand gently over her barren womb. There was once something precious growing inside there and now it was gone, like the hole in her heart. Jacob was filling that hole, but she needed something else, something more. Problem was, she wasn't sure what that something else was.

Stopping near the edge of the pool, she stared down at its dimly lit glisten rays beaming from the overhead lights. Her reflection slightly ruffled through the water and she saw something, someone different staring back at her.

What's happening to me?

<Tag Jacob>

[Desperado]

At first, Jacob thought that he wanted to be alone. Then he realized that this loneliness hurt a lot more than it used to. Samantha was his everything, now that he no longer had a home to look back to. He was just trying to give her a small portion of what she deserved by doing this whole "GED" thing. If it was his choice, he'd never do it, because he had never really planned to live past 17, 20 at the latest. He figured something'd have killed him by now. Curse his good luck.

Eventually, he began heading towards where she had gone, rubbing his shirtless arms and cursing Guido for doing whatever the Hell it was that Guido was doing. He didn't really want to think about it too much.

The Desperado was homophobic.

He spotted Sam sitting by the pool, and sat down next to her. His reflection in the water looked haggard, tired, the once-fierce gleam of his cold blue eyes having faded to nothing. He was different now than he had been even a year ago. The recklessness was gone, all the fight had left him. Used to, he fought because he enjoyed it, because he was good at it, because throwing fists was the only way to do things back home. Now, he needed a reason to fight his enemies, and he needed a reason for them to be his enemies.

He didn't even know who his enemies were, anymore. Except for himself. It was that enemy he fought now, sitting next to a woman who only tried to love him. His foolish pride wouldn't let him say that he was sorry, but he wanted to. Instead, he just shivered and sat there, looking at the pale reflection of himself in the surface of the pool.

[Panthera]

Sam wasn't really sure if Jacob would follow her. He was so busy wrapped up in this GED thing, she wouldn't blame him for being angry with her at the moment. They were apart for a majority of the time and they were together for a short period time prior. It was like waiting in line for your favorite ride at Cedar Point only to have the ride shut down.

His scent soon filled her nostrils as he sat next to her at the poolside. She loved his musky aroma as it put an inward smile on her darkened spirit. Glancing over to his reflection, she saw the sorrow in his eyes, the pain. It only made her feel worse.

She didn't really know what to say to him. Her stubbornness wouldn't apologize for missing him or needing him today, but she did regret the earlier events.

Without looking to him directly, but to his reflection, she spoke.

"I'm really sorry for soiling your clothes with beer."

[Desperado]

Jacob managed a smile at that. He had honestly forgotten all about it, which was odd for him considering his distaste for the beverage. Bad memories of bad times came with that smell. Maybe he was finally over them, now.

"Forget about it," he replied. "But you really shouldn't drink that stuff. It could kill you." All things considered, Jacob ate far healthier than the average kid his age. Doughnuts and coffee were about the worst things he ate. Sure, he ate a good deal more red meat now that he had access to it, but he had lived off of so little for so long that he still didn't eat anything too greasy. His stomach couldn't handle it. It had only been recently that he could resume eating jelly doughnuts.

A cold breeze went by, and Jacob involuntarily shivered. Living in a Mansion had made him weak. He had been through worse cold than this without shivering.

Of course, he had always had his trusty duster to serve as a blanket, but he didn't quite think of that at this point.

[Panthera]

"Forget about it," he replied. "But you really shouldn't drink that stuff. It could kill you."

It's not the alcohol I'm worried about, she thought as she gave a weak smile still looking down at the water. She wanted to tell him about the Danger Room. She wanted to tell him about the killing, the confrontation with Logan. But most importantly, she was getting her memory back, but too slowly for her to comprehend much. The only thing she could see was why she was so afraid of needles, and the fact she had the ability to kill someone so quickly. What made it even worse.....she liked it.

She just quietly responded to him again, hoping to pull off the disguise of her fear of what she might become.

"I know it's not an excuse, but I had a bad day. I'm not an alcoholic."

[Desperado]

"I know you're not. You don't have that sort of addictive personality." He was amazed that he didn't have that sort of addictive personality, considering whose loins he came from.

Silence fell again between them. Another cold breeze blew by, and he shivered again before he could stop himself.

Why was he such a moron? He gave his only long-sleeve shirt to Guido, and even if the man offered it back Jacob wouldn't take it. He knew where it had been.

"Listen, I'm sorry. I know it's no excuse, but I've been having a bad month." It was true. A lot had happened this month. He had been effectively disowned by his father, he had gotten beat up by a couple of mutant-hating punks the other day (the bruises were still there), he had to do this GED thing for any chance at a future...His pride had been hurt a lot this month, moreso than most months, and he didn't like it.

[Panthera]

There's nothing worse than being cold. That never ending chill can deter your mind and make for a lousy mood as well. Sam could hear Jacob's teeth chattering softly and remembered he gave Guido his shirt. How nice, but stupid of him, she thought as she took off the brown leather jacket she had with her for the night. He was there now and she needed to take advantage of this moment. Her mind raced at what to say. Should she tell him of the Danger Room and what she has learned so far? Should she mention her emotions going from love to anger to fear to lust to God knows what else? She knew he had things on his plate. But she needed some kind of release from all this tension and no one was there to listen to her.

Taking in a deep breath, she turned ready to tell him at least about the Danger Room experience. Edging closer to him, she wrapped the leather coat around him and over his shoulders.

"It's not much of a fit, but it will keep the cold draft off your back."

Closing her eyes and looking down for a moment, she gathered her thoughts and what she was about to reveal to him. Sam opened up her lids and looked back to him speaking.

"Jacob, I......", she started when her eyes glanced to his chest. Black and blue marks were dispersed all over his ribs and abdomen. The shock of the sight before her diverted her mind away from telling him everything and concern was her main priority.

"....what happened to you? Where did you get all those bruises?"

[Desperado]

He smiled as she put the jacket on his back. Partly because it was slightly warmer, now, and partly because she had to move closer to him in order to do it. He enjoyed being close to her, and would have put his arm around her if it wasn't so freakin' cold.

When she freaked out about the bruises, he just waved them off. "Oh, just a little scuffle, nothing big." He had just fallen from a second story balcony onto a hardwood table was all.

"Happened a few days ago at the mall. Taught 'em a lesson."

[Panthera]

Her first reaction was to pull him into her arms and caress him. His heartbeat against hers was soothing to any nightmare or emotional rollcoaster she may have been on. She had only 2 people she really trusted here and the one she wanted around her the most was never around as of late.

The first reponse out of his mouth got a reaction of raised eyebrows and a bit of a smirk as the proud man before her acted as though he was Superman. A laugh began to permeate from her mouth, until she heard the second part of his explanation.

"Happened a few days ago at the mall. Taught 'em a lesson."

At the mall? Wasn't he suppose to be studying? What in the world was he doing in the mall? The laughter turned from a smile to a straight face staring back at him. Now she was nervous to hear the rest of the story.

"I didn't know they had a study room in the mall?" she said a bit curtly.

[Desperado]

Well, Jacob had inadvertently goofed. And here he thought things were going good, what with the closeness they had been having.

"Um...they don't," he said sheepishly. Then, almost immediately, he added, "I'd been studying for, like, five days straight. I needed a break from thinking that wouldn't calm me down too much." He knew exactly how that would have worked. He would have calmed down, grown too lenient in his studies and screwed himself over. Only by keeping himself in a near-constant state of panic and alertness could he ever hope to succeed.

[Panthera]

As he explained a bit harshly to her about his need for a break, she thought about how that need could have been expressed here with her when she needed him. But also she knew, he WAS studying his heart out and what's wrong with a little break at the mall? Well, getting large bruises as a result definitely qualifies as wrong.

Tilting her head down, she talked a bit softer.

"I know you are studying and you need this Jacob, for yourself."

Then she looked up and gave his black/blue/purple marks another glance. Her worried expression came back across her face. He was definitely lying about something.

"You don't get those kinds of bruises from just a "scuffle". What aren't you telling me?"

[Desperado]

Dummy, I'm doing it for you, he thought to himself. His thoughts were playfully annoyed at her concern for him.

"Well, they did kinda throw me from the second floor onto the first, but I lived." To Jacob, "living" was the same thing as "being OK." Of course, this is the same Jacob who thought that "walking" was equivalent to "victory," assuming that one could do it after a fight.

Technically, he and those goons had both won that fight, as both parties had walked away from it. At least, according to Desi-logic.

[Panthera]

Samantha truly wanted to believe they had a future. She just wasn't sure anymore. The feelings of revenge and anger and retribution became a strong sensation taking over in small increments. Her animosity towards humans grew every time she read the newspaper or watched the news. If she was capable of murder so easily in a simulation, would it be the same in reality? What was she becoming?

"Well, they did kinda throw me from the second floor onto the first, but I lived."

How could he be so calm? Was it pride? Was it just immaturity showing? Did he even care what might happen to him? Did he care how she would have felt if she had lost him? Her eyes widened and she looked to the side. Something in her mind told her what happened, but she didn't want to believe it.

"A second story building? And you call that a "scuffle"? Jacob, who would want to throw you from a second story building?"

She edged herself closer fearing he was hurt more than he would admit.

[Desperado]

Jacob didn't want to worry her. Of course, that apparently hadn't worked very well. He still wasn't used to this whole "people giving a flying rat's behind about him" thing, no matter how many times it seemed to happen. Lessons beaten into one don't get unlearned that easily.

"It was those guys from your apartment," he finally admitted.

[Panthera]

Her mind was made up. She was going to tell him what had happened in the Danger Room. She needed him and wanted him there in her room holding her tonight. She was ready to.......

"It was those guys from your apartment,"

Her eyes that were gazing into his with increasing concern suddenly became like cold icicles with one blink. Her gaze quickly shot away from him as she sat up feeling her body becoming rigid with anger. Now those damned humans were hurting someone she cared about, even loved. When Sam looked back up to Jacob, a small glimpse of the monster she had become in the Danger Room came forth as her voice deepened and her stare irritated.

"You mean those humans? I hope they got what they deserved."