TV Quotes!

[Guido Carosella]

I'm pretty much just gonna use this as a platform for Venture Bros. or other Adult Swim nonsense, but feel free to put in stuff from whatever else you care to.

Dia de Los Dangerous

Dr. Venture: "So you see, by applying the basic principles of the scientific method to the matter, we learn very quickly that the myth of the Chupacabra is just that: utter crap. Now, if you apply the same principles to Catholicism, an interesting thing occurs..."

The Monarch: "Now Venture'll send Samson after the rest of us and he'll go totally sickhouse on our asses! I like my ass, gentlemen."

Dr. Venture (squashing butterfly): "Horrible disease carrying thing."
Dean: "But that might have been someone's spirit, Pop."
Dr. Venture: "All the more reason to get it the hell off me."

Hank: "This place is tits!"

Home Insecurity

Dr. Venture: "I don't need first aid, Hank. I need you to stop choking me and hitting me with fire extinguishers."

The Incredible Mr. Brisby

Mr. Brisby: "Welcome, Dr. Venture...to the funnest place on earth!"
Dr. Venture: "HOLY DAMMIT CHRISTMAS!"

Eeney, Meeney, Miney...Magic!

Dr. Venture: "My son has it in his head that you were in our house last night and you... killed our robot."
Dr. Orpheus: "The seed of your loins is quite astute. I saved your mechanical man from certain damnation. For his frail, electronic eyes had gazed upon the impenetrable! He was an unwilling beholder to the impossible!"

Dr. Venture: "Oh, what's this? She's an affectionate little one."
Dr. Orpheus: "Oh, my apologies, she's in heat."
Dr. Venture: "I heard if you take a q-tip and moisten it with warm water..."
Dr. Orpheus: "Ahhhh, I tried that once, it was horrible. I couldn't look at her for a week. She was just a walking reminder of our common shame."
Dr. Venture: "Oh dear God. That's not your wife in some, like, magical animal form?"
Dr. Orpheus: "No, no, no. My wife left me for a young necromancer."

Dr. Orpheus: "Evil has struck the House of Venture! The air reeks of an ill wind! Yea, though I have smelt it, thou hath dealt it!"

Dr. Venture: "Well, I might have used a few unorthodox ingredients."
Dr. Orpheus: "Just name one."
Dr. Venture: "An... orphan."
Dr. Orpheus: "A what?"
Dr. Venture: "A... little orphan boy."
Dr. Orpheus: "This machine is powered by the soul of a forsaken child?"
Dr. Venture: "Well, I don't know! I mean, I didn't use the whole thing!"

Ghosts of the Sargasso

Dr. Venture: "I seem to have lost my locator...and yes, I see the irony in that."

Ice Station - Impossible!

Hank: "I've thought a lot about it and if we can't get the antidote in time and it comes down to it... I... well, I want you to be the one to kill me."
Brock: "Don't talk like that, Hank. We're going to find..."
Hank: "Promise me, Brock!"
Brock: (sigh) "OK."
Hank: "Promise me!"
Brock: "OK, I promise!"
Hank: "Super swear?"
Brock: "Yes, Hank."
Hank: "...Hey, Brock? How would you do it?
Brock: "You're asleep, quick jerk of the neck. You'll never feel a thing."
Hank: "You've thought about this."
Brock: "Yes, I have."

Mid-Life Chrysalis

Dr. Venture: "One of them was dressed like a cheerleader and said she was 19, but she had a Cesarean scar and her face had more lines on it than a mirror at Studio 54."

Dean: "No worries, Brock, I'll walk you thorough the written portion. Question 1: You're in Prague. A sniper's in the window above you. There's an alligator behind you, and a grizzly bear in front of you. What do you do? Do you..."
Brock: "Back somersault, pry off the alligator's jaw, use it as a boomerang to take out the sniper. When he falls out the window, the grizzly'll go straight for the easier meal."
Dean: "Ummmm, the answer is 'c'."

[Panthera]

If this thread is your personal rendition of TV quotes, please delete mine.

Chuck
John Casey to Morgan Grimes: "You break her heart, I break your everything."

[Guido Carosella]

Naw, feel free! Post away!

The season finale of Venture Bros this past week was awesome. Probably won't be able to post many of the lines here, though. ;D

Venture Bros. Season 2

Powerless in the Face of Death

Dr. Orpheus: "Now I don't want to worry you with particulars but I am by trade a necromancer. You know what that means?"
Brock Samson: "Uh, that you have sex with dead people?"
Dr. Orpheus: "Phile. Necrophile! A necromancer can bring the dead to life!"

24: "Here's a tip. A beard is no substitute for a jawline, no matter how you trim it."

Dr. Venture: "They are Hank and Dean. They have all the same memories. Same annoying tendencies. Same everything. Look, if you have a clumsy child, you make them wear a helmet. If you have death prone children, you keep a few clones of them in your lab."

Hate Floats
Phantom Limb: "No, don't get up. You've been shot. Sadly, it wasn't fatal. I've removed the bullet and three others, a blowgun dart, two sharks teeth, the tip of a bayonet, a twisted paper clip and a meager handful of buckshot. You may want to learn to duck."

Twenty Years to Midnight
Dr. Venture: "Ugh, I thought I was done with those crappy dreams."
Grand Galactic Inquisitor: "That was a weird one!"
Dr. Venture: "Great, you can read my mind."
Grand Galactic Inquisitor: "IGNORE ME!... Yes, I can."

Victor. Echo. November.
Dr. Orpheus: "When young women reach estrous the..ah..lingam..um...craves the stamen-like skills of the yoni. This is quite natural."

21: "Who's your date?"
The Monarch: "I met her on the LiveJournal. I have been blogging! After posting an especially attractive picture of my prison-sculpted abs, she commented that I was not only 'pwn', I was 'teh sex' -- whatever that means."

Love-Bheits
Hank: "My butt won’t stop making a fist."
Dean: "At least you have one."
Dr. Venture: "You’re blessed with your father’s ass, Dean. Learn to love stadium cushions."

Fallen Arches
Jefferson Twilight: "On three, we give him the old Rochambeau."
The Alchemist: "Rock-paper-scissors?"
Dr. Orpheus: "What does a general from the American Revolution have to do with this?"
Jefferson Twilight: "American Revolution? “Rochambeau” sounds, sounds French to me."
Dr. Orpheus: "Well, yes, the Franco-American Forces."
Jefferson Twilight: "They fought with Spaghetti-Os and meatballs?"
The Alchemist: "Why would a company called Franco-American make Italian food?"

Dean: "You should see a doctor, it smells like you pounded garbage into your butt!"
Hank: "Knock it off. We have a mystery in our bathroom. Query: can flames come out of the toilet?"
Dean: "Hank, if you did this..."
Hank: "I didn't! Dude, if I did this, I would tell you. I would be, like, almost proud of this!"
Triana: "You guys have been in there for like an hour! What are you doing in th-- uugghh! Hank! What is wrong with you?!"
Dean: "Right? It smells like a Bible story in here."
Triana: "Did my grandpa teach you to crap?"

24: "I can't believe that whore stole my Stanza."
21: "I can't believe that whore made it through the lake of acid."